Floaters

A few months ago, we were out to dinner with friends.  You know, having some adult time.  And yet, being the parents of small children as we all are, the conversation of course went south quickly. 

To the oh so appetizing topic of pooping in the tub.

See, our friends' daughter is a notorious tub pooper.  And her older brother does not find it amusing.  So each night before bathtime, they have a little ritual where they go around and say: Mommy's not going to poop in the tub, no she's not.  Daddy's not going to poop in the tub, no he's not.  And on down the line. 

So everyone gets the idea that pooping in the tub is not cool.

As they were telling this story, I was laughing hysterically.  I mean, who ever heard of this?   It was something we had never encountered before.

Yet.

I am not kidding, that very week.  I had the girls in the tub.  And you know there are lots of things in the tub.  I mean, besides 2 girls, you've got washcloths, soap, toys, and books.

The girls are standing up, sitting down, switching places.  You know, standard bathtime fun.

Well as they were scooting past each other, toys and books were swirling from one side to the other as well.

And poop.

Poop?! 

Yep.  There it was. 

Several turds.

Just floating along in the bath water. 

Trying to blend in.

There is poop in my tub!

I stared in shock. 

What do I do now?!?

My instinct was to yell: Mom!!!!  Help!!!!

And then it hits me.

Oh, wait.  I'm the mom.

Oh poop.

Get the babies out first.  That's the first step.

Then the toys.  Put them in a bucket.

Then the poop.

What's the best way to get the poop, you ask?

A solo cup.

Do not use toilet paper.  Seems like common sense I know, but in a moment of panic, you might instinctively reach for it. 

Bad idea.  It disintegrates immediately of course, leaving you with a handful of poop.

Once the poop is out of the tub, drain the water.

Break out the bleach.  Disinfect the tub and the toys.

Draw new water. 

Wash the babies (again) and get them the heck out of there before the other one poops!