Friday, February 4, 2011

Rollercoaster

One thing I've learned from talking with other NICU families is this: It doesn't matter if you are in the NICU for one day, ten days, or ten weeks.  It takes a toll on your emotions just the same, and it can seem like forever.

The NICU rollercoaster is something that almost every NICU family experiences from time to time.  The doctors and nurses refer to it often.  And I must say that it most definitely describes our NICU experience. 

Your baby can be doing great, progressing well one day.  And you come in the next day to find out she has taken two steps back.

She's back on oxygen.

Or she's been taken off her feeds.
 
This is normal.

To be expected.

But every single stinkin time, it took us by surprise.

It was so frustrating.

Exhausting.

Never trust a preemie, I once heard someone say. 

Its because their little premature systems are still working everything out, so they can be unpredictable.

And when you have multiples, this rollercoaster is magnified.  There were many days when one baby would be doing great.  That same day, the other baby was backsliding. 

We felt so torn. 

Happy for the first baby, sad for the second.

Such a strange feeling:

Being split right down the middle.

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